Pirde and Predjudice

Pride: unreasonable and inordinate self-esteem (personified as one of the deadly sins)

Prejudice: bias: a partiality that prevents objective consideration of an issue or situation.

I am a sinner. Better still, I am the embodiment of sin itself, and not just any. I am unique in that I fall into a special category, for I am one of the deadly. One of the deadliest, in fact. I believe.

I am god. In my world there is no such thing as bias. There is only one. One true cause, one true effect and one to decide which is which. There is whole belief, pure and simple. There is no prevention of of objective consideration because there is, simply put, only truth.

I am not the issue.
I am not a situation.

What I am is perfect in my own eyes. I was told this by god herself. She spoke with me one evening and this is what she said. She said that most people have it all wrong. Yes, idol worship is a sin. Yes, you are supposed to honor god at all times. Your life will be decided by what god has put forth as the rules and regulations. Written the directions in all languages. Hebrew. Arabic. Chinese. You name it.

Our body is our temple, where we must worship. Treat it as such. Be kind to it for it is the key to life. Spending time in your house of worship is all important. Saying thanks. Praying. Beeing grateful.

Whence I decided to love another as much as I have loved myself I surrendered to certain irrevocable new truths.

Truth: I can be unreasonable with inordinate self-esteem. Guilty; excessive: beyond normal limits;


I've seen that many people will become content with normal limits. Settling, as the case may be, for the status quo. Sated by the prescribed ration of the day. Sagacity: the mental ability to understand and discriminate between relations, mutual dealings.

I will display reason. I will display self-esteem inordinately, however. This much I will not change from now. I will charge forward with all the sagacity alloted to me and I will create change. Knowing that my reality has shifted. We will both journey up together in this form. We will come to understand the real limits of mankind as they apply to us. We can be inordinately happy as individuals. We will die from this and we will be reborn. In who's image? 'His' image?

In a word, yes. 'His' image is what we are made in. If you can not see god than you see all around god. God becomes a point of light right in the center of your life. All you see will have god directly in the center of it. Look into a mirror and all you will she is light. People do not actually grow halos. They are born with them.

Learn to love another ahead of yourself and you will know bliss. Get confused when you are not doing all you can to please god. Remember to see beauty where it lives. All around you.

I will remember to humble my self and be open.
I will remember to stand for myself and be firm in the face of my ego.
I will remember to look you in the eye, for if I can do that, then I am whole.
I will be whole because I am satisfied.

Satisfied with my living.
Able to look my self in the eye.
Look my self in the eye and love all I see.

Thanks for making me better. Being my mirror.
Thanks for filling that hole.

(um, in my soul)

I Finca I Like This

When you find yourself perched on the precipice of a pond's pad, what do you see?

I'll tell you what. First thing you see is your toes. Next you see the water below. The stars (or sun) reflecting off the surface. Then the trees in the background. The rocks. The bank. The... everything. You see yourself up in the clouds and stars and rocks and brush and toes. You find a good place to take stock.

What do you really have? You have a whole lot of things. You have the idea that something bigger than you has been looking over your shoulder the entire time. The stars show you the enormity of the world holding you up. You live in a ball of dirt with a hot gooey center. The crust is rich and moist. A ball of dirt. Mud pies flying fast through the day/night/day/night sky.

The speed at which we fly through the space and time around us is astonishing. Your heart grows big and bursts inside your chest. Controlled directed blasts of energy. Every action, an equal and opposite reaction. The flow of these tiny mighty mitochondria existing inside its own floating lilly pad. Carried to and fro and resolved to living. Knowing nothing but the certainty that now... now... now... is all you have.

A mosquito breaks the silence and your tongue lashes out satisfying your need for dinner. Toes morph back into your body and the entire inner/outer body experience feels good. The beat beat beat. Beat beat beat. Beat beat beat.

Monday: The Day After Sunday

I woke up tonight rested. I had been asleep all day. Monday night is always the busiest night no mater how hard i try to keep it simple. The workload seems overwhelming. On Sundays I tell myself, "Sappito eres listo." Little frog, you're ready. The jumping never ends aslong as I choose to remain a frog. I hop from pad to pad. The crickets accompany my song and so I do not feel lonely. I roam the vast swamp eating my nightly meal first. I know the amount of energy needed to do it right.