CORN (pt. x, ch x.) First Draft. 1026.2012.frr.

Imagine all the people in a crisis. They all know that each and every one of them was the cause for this grand extinction. They all knew how complacently they managed to keep the home fires burning. Our chickens, home once again. Our full reaping overflowing barn doors. Apples all around. Apples of every shape size and color. The piles gave off a sickly sweet pungency. The mice roam unencumbered through their labyrinths collecting their fair share of the harvest, too.

The wave of cold appeared early this fall and told of winter's snow and crisp starry sky in the making. The morning woke frozen. Bones chilled; and we marveled together at prismatic fields of grass and flower. Dusted limbs and slim sheets of ice created every turn on our road, inviting us forward all the while. Left here. Now two rights. O'er the bridge and up the ridge. See that stone? Now left. The sun now resting on weary shoulders to lend warmth and encouragement.

Pausing for a moment for a drink of water and a refreshing breath, a good time for my heart's repose. The confluence of angels that had brought me to these moments now began to speak once more...

The Thursday You Don't Want to Have This 2:30

I have to admit, I want to puke right now. I got off the phone with a man who bought a motorcycle from me. It was sold in good faith and I was up-front with everything I knew about the bike. He is having problems with it now and wants me to take it back and give him his money. I don't know what to do. I don't like this feeling. I don't like this part of this Thursday at all.

Uncanny American

"What kind of poisons are these?" Asked Mr. Eanor.

"The're the kind with the impossible dream--

...and the kids in the back room are charging exorbitant fees."
-Les Claypool and his flying frog brigade



I can say with utmost certainty, "Not my finest hour." Things like this will
eventually happen to all of us and for many, already have. I failed miserably only days ago.
I failed miserably in my commitment to work. I chose not to give it my all and instead took the easy way out.
How many failed attempts does any athlete deserve?

-If Oregon was Iowa and corn was cow...

"I got me an Iowan gal
You should see my Iowan Gal.
I got me an Iowan gal.
You may try to win her, but you never will pal, my purebred, cornfed Iowan gal.

I got me an Iowan gal.
She's pretty as a picture, happy as a clown
, benjamin tell me how lucky i am, you may try to win her but you never will pal, my purebred, cornfed Iowan gal.

I got me an Iowan gal.
Well you should see my Iowan gal.
I got me an Iowan gal.
She's got a round bottom i like to spank, she quilt me up in kashmir blankets, pretty as a picture, happy as a clown
, benjamin tell me how lucky i am, you may try to win her but you never will pal, my purebred, cornfed Iowan gal.

I got me an Iowan gal.
Well you should see my Iowan gal.
I got me an Iowan gal.
She's the sweetest thing in this side of Des Moines, she cooks up a mighty fine pork loin. So hop a airplane, catch a train pal, get you-self a cornfed Iowan gal.

You should see my Iowan gal."

...This would be an awesome song to dedicate to Molly at our year 3 anniversary.

Learn to write on this forking note pad. How to avoid the use of stronger than pg-13 language and remember to make jokes of the purest and illest content.

To answer the earlier question of how many. The answer is
simple.

As many as you need to get it right. Get up and keep going. Its a long way to the finish line, and you may not have all day.


Learn to make letters and words shape up and take action.

Ringy Dingy

The sun cam out. It went away. The world got bright. The world got dim. Fire and ice. Skin and bones. Stuff runs it course and some people don't do anything to get better. Some people stay where they are and you find them anywhere. I know what i want to do. I know what you want to do. You know what it is like to be alone, now. I don't have any friends here. I don't really like this place, yet. I hate this feeling and nobody to talk to because my wife thinks this place is awesome. I think it will be awesome, but right now I think its shit. I'm over it all, right now. I need to train up. To be. Toe be. To be. To be.
Fuckit.

Monday- memorial day?

I can't tell you what it felt like to e out there today but what I can tell you is that i enjoyed every bit of it. aving friends and seeing the smiles on everyone's faces was worth te sore arms I will have tomorrow. I can't wait to see my Mom and Dad and they will really enjoy this beautiful place we live in now. Soon.

Sunday Morning

I woke and my toe is still blue. The rest of me feels great. My armgina is healing and the skin looks like it wants to be whole again. Talk of going hiking or wake boarding sounds exciting until I realize that either one of these activities would probably piss off my toe. All this not doing over a freakin' pinky toe. For fech's sake!

and then

The next day came and i went out to start our morning. Coffee and breakfast with a new friend. SOld off things ready to leave and found my family upset, as usual. Why, oh why? This is the only part that sucks. Wish for more better all the time. Is that too much?

So fresh and so clean

I walk through the muck and the mosquitos buzz above me.
Finding the water and diving in to wash away the ooze.
Silence falls over the pond and the first ray of light dances across the surface

Sound hits the water like a pebble and the ripple stirs every creature who feels its wake,
and comes alive.

Thank you for the new day. Time to make the most of it.

If knowledge is power, then we're fuct unless...

I knowledge is power then we are fuct. Fknowledge- the concept that knowledge is power is inherently flawed in that we feel powerful over our environment and the creatures within it. A god-like sense of dominion.

The forbidden fruit was the apple. Someone took a bite out of it and we were all fuct and what if it was only the way we did it that made it wrong. Going behind god's back with the intent to 'show 'em whose boss' kind of attitude is an asshole way to approach it. Its the way a dickish chile would thumb their nose at an adult. Instead, if we approach it with the humility of the student standing before the learn'ed we may be able to overcome the impending doom of disobedience. A wise woman once told me, "It is easier to ask for forgiveness than permission." I agree and, I believe, Jesus was preaching that same message. Original sin was bound to happen. God knew this and so did the devil. God got mad, like any good parent would and sent us to our room without dinner. We moped about and thumbed our noses at their ideas and ideals for a while and decided that we would show them. We showed 'em allright. We got fuct in the process and we showed 'em, by golly!

The point, yes the point, I was getting to that. Using knowledge. How do we, as a society, use it? I suggest we remember the concepts of humility and grace. Being humble enough to know that the knowledge we are obtaining are gifts and they should be treated with the proper respect not wielded like a hammer. Being gracious about the power it brings us and keeping that generosity of spirit in mind when we proceed.

Controversy.

200 million dollars a day...

up to 2 billion total, I don't know.

So he's traveling 34 warships, 2 billion. 40 planes! 3 Helicopters. The Barackmobile. 30 bomb sniffing dogs!

Doubtsourced.

That's just comical. Bullshit manufacturing outsourced?

The mistake by Westerners is to take the first number. This is merely a jumping off point. A bargain beginning, not a commitment to a number. The final figures are not in.

Fed Up!
The fight
begins here.

I don't know, All of that power that's been concentrated into one place. Washington D.C.

Well...

How are things?

How was your holiday?

How's life?

Well, I'll tell you. Things are looking up and so am I. I find myself checking the weather more often than in past winters. Why? Well, It's not because of a season pass to the mountain or the fear of 2012 that has become a real thought in so many people's minds. I look up because the horizon is out there waiting to be reached. The beach is waiting. I will ride there. The back country is waiting. I will trek there. I also believe that my dream is there. I will catch up to it and look it in the eyes. I will not back down no matter how ugly it may seem up close and personal. I will embrace it and show it my true self. Brave as a child who knows no fear. A dog who has never ben kicked running up to a horse with only the question, "What kind of dog are you?" in his mind.

Ready to become a bit more adventurous again and redefining what I believe that word to mean to me. I have played around loosely with definitions and connotations. Speech as been a playground of whimsy and imagination. Not it will also be my office. My vocation. Thanks for reading these ramblings, if you do, and if you do not. Thanks anyway because, well, just thanks.

HFNY

Those of you who live in my world will understand the meaning of those four letters and those who don't, well, you will. We learn and forget so many things throughout the course of each day, week, month and decade. The consequences of these lapses, as my dad would say, are that we end up hearing the same lesson again in different forms over and over until the thickness of our head bones can be overcome. Today I was taught a very valuable lesson.

Nothing is an accident. Everything does indeed happen for a reason. People, as well as hurdles, are put in our path (some say way) to remind us of what we lack, overlook and sometimes just forget. Jolene is a cancer surviving, fibromyalgia diagnosed, 18 months sober, mother and second-class citizen. Meaning a tough lady who has learned a lot about life and still keeps her head up. Pleasant and engaging. Upbeat and earnest. She reminded me that some people are worth meeting and that there is much to do in this world. I'm glad to be able to do my part.Oh yeah and happy froggin' new year!

Pirde and Predjudice

Pride: unreasonable and inordinate self-esteem (personified as one of the deadly sins)

Prejudice: bias: a partiality that prevents objective consideration of an issue or situation.

I am a sinner. Better still, I am the embodiment of sin itself, and not just any. I am unique in that I fall into a special category, for I am one of the deadly. One of the deadliest, in fact. I believe.

I am god. In my world there is no such thing as bias. There is only one. One true cause, one true effect and one to decide which is which. There is whole belief, pure and simple. There is no prevention of of objective consideration because there is, simply put, only truth.

I am not the issue.
I am not a situation.

What I am is perfect in my own eyes. I was told this by god herself. She spoke with me one evening and this is what she said. She said that most people have it all wrong. Yes, idol worship is a sin. Yes, you are supposed to honor god at all times. Your life will be decided by what god has put forth as the rules and regulations. Written the directions in all languages. Hebrew. Arabic. Chinese. You name it.

Our body is our temple, where we must worship. Treat it as such. Be kind to it for it is the key to life. Spending time in your house of worship is all important. Saying thanks. Praying. Beeing grateful.

Whence I decided to love another as much as I have loved myself I surrendered to certain irrevocable new truths.

Truth: I can be unreasonable with inordinate self-esteem. Guilty; excessive: beyond normal limits;


I've seen that many people will become content with normal limits. Settling, as the case may be, for the status quo. Sated by the prescribed ration of the day. Sagacity: the mental ability to understand and discriminate between relations, mutual dealings.

I will display reason. I will display self-esteem inordinately, however. This much I will not change from now. I will charge forward with all the sagacity alloted to me and I will create change. Knowing that my reality has shifted. We will both journey up together in this form. We will come to understand the real limits of mankind as they apply to us. We can be inordinately happy as individuals. We will die from this and we will be reborn. In who's image? 'His' image?

In a word, yes. 'His' image is what we are made in. If you can not see god than you see all around god. God becomes a point of light right in the center of your life. All you see will have god directly in the center of it. Look into a mirror and all you will she is light. People do not actually grow halos. They are born with them.

Learn to love another ahead of yourself and you will know bliss. Get confused when you are not doing all you can to please god. Remember to see beauty where it lives. All around you.

I will remember to humble my self and be open.
I will remember to stand for myself and be firm in the face of my ego.
I will remember to look you in the eye, for if I can do that, then I am whole.
I will be whole because I am satisfied.

Satisfied with my living.
Able to look my self in the eye.
Look my self in the eye and love all I see.

Thanks for making me better. Being my mirror.
Thanks for filling that hole.

(um, in my soul)

I Finca I Like This

When you find yourself perched on the precipice of a pond's pad, what do you see?

I'll tell you what. First thing you see is your toes. Next you see the water below. The stars (or sun) reflecting off the surface. Then the trees in the background. The rocks. The bank. The... everything. You see yourself up in the clouds and stars and rocks and brush and toes. You find a good place to take stock.

What do you really have? You have a whole lot of things. You have the idea that something bigger than you has been looking over your shoulder the entire time. The stars show you the enormity of the world holding you up. You live in a ball of dirt with a hot gooey center. The crust is rich and moist. A ball of dirt. Mud pies flying fast through the day/night/day/night sky.

The speed at which we fly through the space and time around us is astonishing. Your heart grows big and bursts inside your chest. Controlled directed blasts of energy. Every action, an equal and opposite reaction. The flow of these tiny mighty mitochondria existing inside its own floating lilly pad. Carried to and fro and resolved to living. Knowing nothing but the certainty that now... now... now... is all you have.

A mosquito breaks the silence and your tongue lashes out satisfying your need for dinner. Toes morph back into your body and the entire inner/outer body experience feels good. The beat beat beat. Beat beat beat. Beat beat beat.

Monday: The Day After Sunday

I woke up tonight rested. I had been asleep all day. Monday night is always the busiest night no mater how hard i try to keep it simple. The workload seems overwhelming. On Sundays I tell myself, "Sappito eres listo." Little frog, you're ready. The jumping never ends aslong as I choose to remain a frog. I hop from pad to pad. The crickets accompany my song and so I do not feel lonely. I roam the vast swamp eating my nightly meal first. I know the amount of energy needed to do it right.

Frog Life In Paradise: The Middle

Funny thing is, I never thought being a frog would be this interesting considering all you have to put with. The being born without legs was a new kind of strange. Being born with this huge looming responsibility. Again with the growing legs and perpetuating the species. Being born with sensitive, breatheable skin has also been a refreshing. My my, hwo time flies. Speaking of wich, I'mm hungry! Off to snag some grub(s.)